I have been SUPER M.I.A for some time now. My excuses.....
Wellllll....I don't have much LOL
BUT I will say this...I did go through a bit of change the last time I blogged.
First thing that I wanted to mention was that I finally started to become more active on my YouTube channel. I never wanted to categorized my channel to something that I know I wouldn't be consistent with. At first when I started the channel years ago, I thought it would be nice to make videos that show cased my love for music and uploading brown paper bag cover songs. After a few videos and lots of displeasing comments (remembering the one hateful comment where someone told me to get a nose job because it would benefit my voice better and also my Asian nose took my whole face, Not cool...) that it literally broke me down. I've never thought I was a great singer. I've been told by lots of people that I am, but I don't know for myself since I am always so harsh on myself. I just loved music and being musically talented since I was a child, I honestly thought there would be lots of people out there like me who were always too shy to showcase something special about them that they were able to have an outlet to share their special talent(s). After that, it went on to random vlogs about my every day life, which came to a halt because my friends and family never really understood why I needed to record my life for people to watch. I guess people just won't understand the concept of "sharing". I came to realize after a long year and a half of hiatus from filming anything, that I shouldn't have to really care about what others think of me. As long as I still have that passion for something that I loved to do, then it really shouldn't matter to anyone but myself. So I started to film again about things that I'm really passionate about.
The second thing that really changed my life was when I started my new job. I've been at my previous job for the last 5 years, and I never had plans to really go anywhere. I was really, for the most parts, happy to be working with a handful of talented and intelligent people. I really got along with everyone and most of us became really good friends. It wasn't until I realized that the direction of the business came to a drastic drama fest. If there's one thing that I hate when it comes to work, is it's politics and back talking. When you have a job, the people you work with become your second family and your job becomes your second home. It will always happen when you and another co-worker will have a day when you won't stop bickering at each other and you end up getting in a fight. It just happens, it's part of life. In my situation, however, I felt that I was being pinned against everyone and that I had no other choice than to find something else. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. I thought that I would be a "lifer" there and have expressed that to my boss, but something wasn't feeling right in my heart and to make my heart mend, I needed to leave. Before I made my final decision, a lot of pettiness came out from my so-called friends. Lots of rumours began to spread, lots of hate started to build up, to the point where I was trapped. It really chewed me apart because I felt so betrayed. I spent 5 years of my life with these people and have done so much for them, that this is how they treated me. So many emotions came to me like a roller coaster. That's when I realized that if I couldn't find another job, that all I could do was just to do my job and keep everything to myself. Miraculously, a friend of mine offered me a job, which he guaranteed better pay, benefits, and he trusted me to fill this position because he knows that I'm a hard worker. I actually denied him the first time, and it wasn't until he came to me again that I said that I would reconsider his offer. I was scared to be honest, because I thought if I quit my current job and go to the new one and hate it as well, am I able to come back to my old job? I was so comfortable, that I was scared of the change. It wasn't until my loving and supporting boyfriend, James, made me sit down and think hard about the decision I'd be making. If I stayed at the current job, would it truly make me happy? Would all the back talking and politics go away? Would it be beneficial for me? Am I able to move up in the business ladder? Every question that he asked, I truthfully said NO to all. So I revised my resume and sent it to my friend, got a call 5 hours after I sent it and got the job. It was utterly the best feeling in the world. The person in HR was more than welcoming and she reassured me that I would be a great addition to the team, despite my concerns. After the call, I handed in my two weeks notice (which I prepared on my flash drive). At first my boss was confused, telling me that he thought I had stated I would be a lifer and continue helping his business grow. That's when I poured my heart to him and said that I wasn't happy and I couldn't work in such conditions that would eat me alive and make me regret if I stayed. On my last day, my boss came to my once more and asked if my decision was final. I assured him that it was and I thanked him and the other employees for their support they have given me and walked out with my head held high.
The thing that I learned most from this experience was that bridges can be easily burned. I purposely burned my bridges with my old boss because I couldn't support the way the business was going and how easily it was to betray people who you supposedly care for. And pride had to do a lot of it as well. My boss and other workers had too much pride in themselves that they kept saying that they didn't do anything wrong, which in my case, they clearly did. That pride turned into hate towards me. For myself, I had to take care of myself and stop caring of what they thought of me. I took pride in my work ethics and my goals in helping a business go forward instead of back, and they didn't like my concept.
Overall, I'm happy I made my decision. I absolutely love my new job. My boss is awesome and the higher ups are even more awesome. I find that I am contributing to the business' growth and what's more important that the company values that and they recognize each and everyone's support. We all motivate each other to do better, and that's what a business should be doing.
Readers, if you feel that this is happening to you or it did happen to you, I completely understand how you feel. It's always rough trying to find that career path and that perfect job, but it never seems to go into the direction you want it to. The things you should look into are: Do you love your job? Can you build a better relationship with everyone without the politics? Is your job beneficial to your life (mentally, physically, and emotionally)? Mostly, be true to yourself and always believe that when life gives you lemons, just make lemonade. There are ups and downs but each of us are capable of pulling ourselves up and pushing forward to do better.
That was a little long and emotional that I didn't even do my last change! HAHA! The last thing I've been doing was to make a change for myself. I have been lacking when it came to my health for about for many many years now. I was always a tiny person growing up and played some sports to get myself active and in shape. I guess after I moved away from my childhood town to a bigger city, went to college and having a part-time job to pay for bills, I neglected my health and being in shape. Now...I'm at my height-est weight I have ever been in my life (too embarrassed to share) and less than 4 months until my sister's wedding in Mexico, I've decided to step it up and make a stance. I've contemplated doing diet pills and weight loss program, but to be honest, I don't have the funds to do any sort. My goal is to be at 115 (I have a long ways to go), and what I've been doing really is 75% diet, watching what I eat, and 25% exercising and working out. I am allowed to have a cheat day once every other week. I cut my coffee out completely, NO MORE STARBUCKS NOOOOO!!!!! However, I'm allowed to have one if I didn't get enough sleep and need to go to work the next day. I try to exercise every day, whether I go out for a long walk/jog, doing a workout video, or simply work hard on my core. My current favourite video right now is the Pump It Up Ultimate Dance workout. You may remember this or not, but YouTube Call On Me and you'll remember right away. When I was younger, I used to dance (ballet, jazz, lyrical, and tap). One of my favourite things about my classes was actually the warm up exercises. It really worked your butt off. The work out video really reminds me of those days and it's only an hour and a bit of your time. It totally kicks my butt and I feel a lot stronger and more flexible after a few weeks of doing it. I wasn't even able to do some sections because I was way too tired, but now I'm able to do the whole video from start to finish. Realistically, losing weight and becoming strong can happen. It just takes a lot of work and dedication and also motivation. Trust me though, there are days when I would just love to do nothing but lay down and have my laptop on my stomach and watch YouTube or Anime all day while eating a pint of Haggen Daaz coffee ice cream. No joke I did this just before I started my work out plan. The thing is though, that "truth bus" came and completely ran me over that I needed to do something about it. I guess it came when I realized that I wasn't the smallest one in the family anymore, and that my fat sister isn't so fat no more and that she started to call me fat. Which is a great motivator by the way guys. LOL. All in all, I just wanted to be healthy and happy again.
I'm really glad that you guys survived this long entry (as it took me days to pour my soul into it), here's today's question for you readers.
Readers: What are the recent changes you made in your life? Have you found that your change has made you happier? If there was one thing you would like to change, what would it be?
Thanks again you all for visiting my blog! Don't forget to follow and comment below.!
Until next time (and hopefully it won't be too long)...
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